Shame by Greg Garrett

Author:Greg Garrett
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Christian Fiction, Christian Family, Small Towns, Regret, Guilt, High-school, Basketball, Coaching
Publisher: David C. Cook
Published: 2014-09-14T16:00:00+00:00

November 19, 1994

Miss Candace Tilden

1425 E. Fifth

Albuquerque, NM 87106

Dear Candy,

Have you ever heard that old Chinese greeting/curse, “May you live in interesting times”? I am living in times that have become way too interesting for my liking. What would you do if you had the opportunity to do something you’ve always wondered if you should have done in the first place? What if you knew that your chance at happiness would be tempered by the unhappiness you would create by such a decision?

I am still wrestling with the problems I mentioned obliquely last time. I remember what you wrote once when I was asking these questions (because, let’s face it, these are just about the only questions I ever ask). You said that what could have been is the greatest enemy of what is. Wise words. I hope I can live up to them, to you, to everyone.

I dreamed about Trent the other night. I wish you’d known him, because I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to talk about him in a way that will be valuable to you. I idolized him, you see, and that’s a lot of freight for anyone to carry, alive or dead. I know I probably wouldn’t have done that if he were still around, because we disagreed on a lot of things. But that’s one of the advantages of being dead, I guess—it freezes you beyond disapproval and disagreement. He was my brother, and I loved him, and he died, and that’s all that will ever matter, I guess.

Do take good care of yourself. I want the privilege of continuing to disagree with you, especially about bringing Arturo home to the folks. I still think Christmas would be a good time. Come out here. I’ll protect you both. I am still spry enough to wrestle a shotgun out of Dad’s hands, you know.

And please, if it doesn’t sound too Southern Baptist of me, say a prayer for me. I’m a mess. I want to do what is right. I’ve wanted that all my life, but I am so tired of doing what is right for everyone else and wondering if it will ever be right for me.

I am too tired and too emotional. Don’t worry about me. All will be fine once basketball starts and I become too busy to think.

But do come for Christmas. I miss you and covet your presence, Baby Sis.

Love,

John

P.S. You are going to be a great-aunt. Really! More about this as it happens.

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